ONLINE DATING HORROR STORY OF THE WEEK – INAUGURAL EDITION

Yes, you read that title right. This will be a recurring feature for Miss Wingman, since so many of you had brushes with awful in your quest for cyber love. First up, Leslie from New York’s account of a dude who traded pillow talk for potty talk.

“William the Brit: This guy was cute and British and had no phone. That’s right, in this day and age, a man without a phone! Bananas! My friend insisted he was a serial killer, so she took the office phone # he gave me and called it. Upon getting a normal-sounding voicemail at his place of business, she approved the date. First date was fun, all went well, he kissed me and put me in a cab. Super cute. Second date we met for dinner and somehow he got on the subject of talking about sexual things – obviously I did not bring this up and was horrified – and he told me he likes…[something that starts with "golden" and ends with "shower." *Miss Wingman usually tries to keep it classy, but this was too good not to post, apologies] We parted ways amicably. He was way too kinky for me. Tip for guys on 2nd dates: don’t ask a girl to — on you. It is definitely too soon.”

Leslie, is it ever a good time to propose that? This just proves why I never trust anyone who doesn’t own a phone. Glad you got out when you did, girl.

The lesson? I suppose  you can’t help it if you have a fetish, just make sure to keep us in the dark about it until at least the fifth date. Oh, and also: most women aren’t into this kind of thing. Unless her last name is “Kardashian.”

That’s it for the inaugural ODHSOTW post, don’t say I  never gave you anything. Besides, now when your date is crazy, looks nothing like his/her picture (or suggests bodily functions – eek!) at least you can come away from it with a story.

Got a story for us? Email all submissions and story ideas to misswingman@gmail.com, and don’t forget to “Like” us on Facebook and follow us on Twitter, @misswingman.ETIQUETTE WINGMAN

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