ONLINE DATING HORROR STORY OF THE WEEK: MR. POPULAR

You know what time it is: your favorite procrastination point of the week. Otherwise known as “delight in the romantic misery of your fellow man.”

After a brief hiatus last week, this time we have a tale of woe from Gretchen in LA (a different city! yay!) who proves that douchery isn’t geographically exclusive to NYC. And here I’d been convinced otherwise…

Tim, the studio exec: “This guy’s picture was hot but super cheesy. Like, with his car and hair/sunglasses styled just-so cheesy, but I decided to give him a chance anyway because everyone out here is fake like that, so whatever. He suggested dinner at 6:30, which seemed a little early for my taste but I agreed. Then he took me to “this great Ethiopian place” he knew about. Um, going to a restaurant where you eat with your fingers isn’t exactly ideal for a first date. It’s hard to look civil when your hands are a mess.

We talked about his job and “the industry” and briefly grazed over what I do for a living, but he kept checking his watch and it was starting to bug me. He seemed pretty normal aside from the bad manners, but I couldn’t help but notice he was distracted. After dinner he suggested this really loud, kitschy bar that no one in LA would really frequent. Total tourist trap. I mean, it has a mechanical bull in it – a little too spring break for my liking. We could barely hear each other.

After one drink I was about ready to call it a night anyway when his phone went off (he’d left the table to hit the men’s room). The message showed up from whoever his next date was asking where he wanted to meet her that night. Actually, it was from a “Melissa” and said, “Hey, should we meet at someplace on Sunset or closer to your work? Excited to meet you!” I nearly fell over.

Guys – Don’t double book! And if you’re stupid enough to double book dates on the same night, at least don’t leave your iPhone where date #1 can see it, moron. Needless to say, I got up and left before he even returned to the table.”

Wow. Sounds like you dodged a bullet there, Gretchen. If his photos were any indication, he wasn’t going to be terribly considerate, but double booking is a big no no. Plus, I’d be pissed that I was given the earlier shift – just saying. Thanks for sharing, the lessons are many: Go with your gut – if the person seems lame they probably are, don’t take people to awkward ethnic restaurants on first dates, and never, ever stack two dates on the same night. Even if you’re extra smooth, the odds of it turning out well are slim.

Have a story to contribute? Send it my way: misswingman@gmail.com. Remember, the only up side to a bad date is being able to publicly make fun of them afterward.THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID

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