GIRL FACTS: VACATION WINGMAN EDITION

Miss Wingman’s gone fishing…

Not really, but I am going to be partially out of pocket over the next week. Not because I’m slacking off from my responsibilities, but because I’m at the mercy of highly unreliable island Wi-Fi. In the meantime, here are some vacation-themed Girl Facts. It’s a whole lot easier to write when the scenery behind my laptop looks like a postcard.

Girl Fact: We can find any item, no matter how small, at the bottom of any handbag – no matter how cavernously large. Despite appearances to the contrary, when we’re carrying enormous bags filled with our entire lives, we’re actually remarkably adept and accurate at locating things like pens, lip glosses and hair ties…like purse ninjas.

Girl Fact: There is nothing like the 5 seconds leading up to a first kiss. Especially if you gently lift our chins or put your hands on the back of our necks when you seal the deal.

Girl Fact: When men say things like, “Hey gorgeous” or refer to us as, “Pretty lady,” we swoon. It doesn’t matter if you also say it to the 300 lb woman with 4 teeth who just bagged your groceries at Walmart, we still love it. Women eat that kind of thing up.

Girl Fact: We know when you don’t bring your A-game with us. If you check out other women in our presence, aren’t attentive to us or don’t do chivalrous things, we notice. We may not call you out on your indifference, but still – we notice.

Girl Fact: The best quality a woman can offer you is believing in you wholeheartedly. Well, that and having boobs like Kate Upton.

Girl Fact: If stores were smart, they’d serve cocktails in the dressing room while women tried on bathing suits and plaster the walls with pictures of women who look like Roseanne Barr. It’d make bikini shopping a whole lot easier for us, and a whole lot more profitable for them.THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID

Facebook Twitter

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>