ONLINE DATING HORROR STORY OF THE WEEK: THE DISTRACTION

We made it to Friday again, kids. And Amen to that. Not only are we blessed with a 3-day weekend, but you get the added bonus of a “sucks to be them” tale of dating woe. What more could you ask for?

This week’s less than fabulous stab at romance comes to us from Dominic in Jersey City, and it involves a surprise addition to his date. Short(ish) and not-so-sweet, this one’s a real piece of work.

Karen, the multi-tasker: “I read this column every week, and nobody yet has been able to top my worst blind date. So I decided to send this one in. I met this girl on eHarmony and made plans to go out with her. She seemed close to my age (I’m in my mid 30′s) and her profile said she’d never been married. We chose a restaurant near her house and agreed to meet at 8:30.

When I got there, we introduced ourselves, got to chatting, but I noticed her acting distracted. She kept looking over my right shoulder, and after about a half hour of that, I decided to call her out on it. When I asked if she knew someone over there, I turned around in my seat to see what she was staring at. That’s when I noticed a kid sitting at a table by himself across the restaurant.

Before I could say something about it, she cut me off. ‘I’m sorry, yes, that’s my son over there actually.’ HER WHAT? I choked. She hadn’t mentioned having a kid, but even if she had who the hell brings their child on a date with them? She told me her sitter backed out at the last second, and her mother was too sick to watch him.

So, not wanting to break the date, she decided to take him with her, set him up at a table with some french fries and a comic book, and tell him to behave himself for an hour or two. I guess I should’ve been flattered? Um, not exactly.

I told her she couldn’t leave him over there, and she said ‘Oh no it’s OK, he’s nine, he’ll be alright like that.’ She tried to keep the conversation going for a few more minutes, asking about my job and changing the subject, but the kicker came when her kid accidentally set a napkin on fire from the candle on the table a minute later. She dove out of her seat and yelled ‘Trevor no!’ and a waitress had to come stamp it out.

Check please! That was my cue. I ended the date, threw some money on the table for our food – and his – and wished her luck. The moral of the story? I’m all for people multi-tasking, but if your sitter flakes, just reschedule. First dates are awkward enough without bringing your kids.”

Dominic: What comic was the kid reading, “The Adventures of Child Protective Services and the Really Bad Parenting Decision”? That’s a mother of a bad story. (Sorry, it was too easy).

Did she at least apologize profusely? Not only for bringing her child on a date, but for lying about his existence in the first place? Sounds like you dodged a bullet there. Just curious though, what were the waitresses saying? I can’t imagine no one in the restaurant reacting to a child dining alone (unless he was a really big tipper, duh).

I mean, if you were really hitting it off with Karen, I suppose you guys could’ve made the best of it and put the kid to work fetching you guys drinks from the bar. Nine is old enough to not spill cocktails, right? Or at least had a little fun with it and introduced yourself to him as his “new daddy” and then grounded him for the napkin stunt. No? Yeah maybe your way is better.

Better luck next time is an understatement, but thank you for sharing this with us. Here’s hoping your next date doesn’t come with a booster seat.THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID

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