BIRTHDAY WINGMAN 2.0: MORE LESSONS, SOME WIT, POSSIBLE WISDOM.

Hello there, my faithful procrastinators. I’ve returned after a lengthy break, indeed it’s true. Please forgive me my absence, but Miss Wingman had to recharge her batteries and soak up all the best things in life before returning to a New York state of mind, freezing temps and milestone: another birthday.

Yes the calendar pages have been torn off to reveal that I am, despite my best efforts, getting older. But, lucky for me, with each passing year the only thing I know for certain is that surrounding yourself with all good things is a surefire way to be happy.

Eh, scratch that – that’s not the only thing I know for certain. I’ve actually amassed quite a collection of truths and ruminations, as evidenced by my single favorite written post thus far – last year’s “Birthday Wingman: Life Lessons and Wisdom From The Smartass Mind.” If you managed to miss it the first time around, kindly correct that now. I promise it’ll be worth the detour.

But back to what this past year has shown me – other than that guys gravitate towards ugly footwear, and that playoff beards and exit interviews are awesome…man-gagement rings, not so much. In taking inventory of the myriad blessings in my kickass life, I’ve decided to continue the tradition and impart some more insight onto reading masses.

I give you (drum roll please)…

Fifteen Things You Should’ve Learned By Your 30′s. It’s useful for both men and for the ladies, since so many outstanding females seem to read this site, too.

Thirty what, you ask? None of your damn business.

*Friends are not one size fits all, and reconnecting is never accidental. Figuring out what each of them brings into your life, however small, is the key to staying happy.

(So is vodka. And DVR. And a solid playlist on a long drive. Just don’t mix the first with the last, obviously).

*Hard as I try, the Kardashians aren’t going away any time soon (ugh). Neither is the Harlem Shake, LeBron James, Kate Upton’s boobs, or people who still say “bling” after 2003.

*Try every day to be the person who dresses your best, complains the least and offers the most kindness to total strangers.

*There is nothing that some belly laughter, a Giants/Yankees/Rangers win, a long run or live music can’t fix. Oh, and truffle fries. Truffle fries heal, too.

*The best pick up line is, “Hi, I’m ______.” Accompanied with a smile. It’ll almost always get you a foot in the door.

*Timing REALLY IS everything. We could’ve all lived a dozen different versions of our lives if this or that played out a minute later. But it happens how it happens when you’re ready, and not a moment sooner.

*Eat dessert. Even if it means extra cardio miles. Life’s too short not to indulge.

*Don’t believe in luck, there’s no such thing. There is, however, divine intervention, serendipity, and solid preparation. The first two are easier to believe in, it’s that last one that tends to be the hardest.

*Read a lot. Even if it’s just the articles in Maxim. Learning new perspectives or vocab words will compensate for all the time you didn’t spend paying attention in high school English.

*Know what to do if you find the (possible) love of your life, but don’t beat yourself up if it doesn’t work out. Sometimes having “the one that got away,” helps us learn how to hold on better the next time.

*If you don’t like where you get up and go every morning, find a new landscape. No amount of money or security is worth your peace of mind, despite what the world tells you.

*Avoid posting TV spoilers on social media. It makes the rest of us hate you.

*Life will break your heart, count on it. Whether from a sports team, unfulfilled dreams, or saying goodbye, you will be leveled more than once. The best way to bounce back is to grieve, use the pain to launch yourself forward and upward, then hug the people who helped you get there.

*Pay attention to people’s names when introduced, announcements on the subway, and when a woman gets her hair done. We want you to notice.

*Never make anti-Red Sox or Patriots comments in mixed company. Someone’s always from Boston. Same goes for off-color ethnic jokes, but for entirely different reasons.

And there you have it. The factoids & falsehoods I’ve sifted through over the years. Sure, I could go on about the benefits of always carrying Purell, never watching FOX News and not asking about ex-girlfriends, but this is the gist of it, for the most part.

I leave you now with the same closing words as last year, as they’re just as true today as they ever were. “And finally, what I’ve realized only now but have probably known all along: I’m not getting older, I’m just getting more awesome.”

My love to you all. –MWTHAT’S WHAT SHE SAID

Facebook Twitter

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>