JUST WINGING IT: THE ONE WHERE THE PROFILER GETS PROFILED

It’s that time, Wingman faithful. Your chance to turn the tables on me and make the advisor the advisee. See? All those quips about man jewelry and wearing bad shoes are about to come back and bite me in the ass. Somewhere, scorned dudes everywhere are lining up to give their two cents.

Be nice, y’all.

So below you’ll find the “About Me” section of my Match.com profile. I found it unexpectedly stressful to sum up who I am for the male online dating population at large. Way more difficult than writing my editorial bio for Miss Wingman…or my grad school thesis, for that matter.

Let me know what you think. Do I sound normal? Overly dude-like? Sarcastic? I consider that last one a compliment, by the way. Also this is my profile photo that appears with the accompanying text.

There’re other photos, too, but they’re all similarly framed – from the waist up. I realize that not having full length shots may make people wonder if I’m a size 2 up top and a 12 on the bottom – or if I have, like, a wooden leg or something – but this chick doesn’t take many head-to-toe pics. Not without other people in them, at least.

RenataNov1

Don’t forget to keep it right here for more of Miss Wingman’s Good Man Experiment, aka “Where Are All The Good Men In NYC?” so that you can play along at home with my version of Choose Your Adventure: Dating edition. Sigh.

Until then, as per usual, I’ll be Just Winging It.THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Profile name: WRITERCHICK**** (digits omitted)

Headline: “Headlines are way too much pressure.”

The first rule of being on a dating website is don’t talk about being on a dating website in your profile…or maybe that was Fight Club.

Nothing I write here could adequately describe who I am (ironic, since I write for a living), but here’s a stab at the Cliffs Notes version of me:

-I fall asleep most nights to SportsCenter.
-I have an unnatural addiction to Fresh and Co salads and guacamole.
-People who eat on the subway repulse me.
-I’ve interviewed most of my musical idols.
-I don’t like anything as much as I love my family.
-My knowledge of pop culture borders on embarrassing.
-I find my zen through a heavy bag or running shoes.
-I wanted to be a Huxtable growing up.
-Getting my Masters in Journalism was the best decision I ever made. Hoya Saxa!
-I live by the mantra, “Don’t listen to anything they say, just pay attention to what they do.”
-Hearing my nephews’ feet bounding down the hall and them exclaiming my name as they run to answer the door is my favorite sound of all time.
-I will probably never give up cheese, carbs or scotch. And I’m OK with that.
-People who make me laugh have a leg up on the rest.

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7 thoughts on “JUST WINGING IT: THE ONE WHERE THE PROFILER GETS PROFILED

  1. There appears to be a metallic dong above your left shoulder, MY RIGHT.

    The kind of guy you’ll end up liking won’t care about the full body, but if you want to get in a quick one with a superficial type, throw in a full body and blur out / black out the other parties involved. Regardless, people can tell urine shape from the waist up.

    Also, F Match. Join OkCupid. Save some cash.

  2. Dear Miss Wingman,
    From a photographer point of view, the pict is a bit vague, and you should be alone on the pict.
    Reading your description, you look normal, but what is normal ? This shows you are an interesting person, sarcastic and ironic, with opinions, and these can’t be definitely any defaults ! A zesty person is ten times more interesting than a … housewife… (apologize for my english, I’m french !) Happy to see there are women who love cheese and scotch !
    And congratulations for your blog, I’m a french fan (may be the only one ?)
    Kind regards.

  3. Looks good to me. I dig the profile picture, scotch and heavy bag feistiness. It sounds like match might not be the right avenue for most of us, but I also do not live in NYC.

  4. This is coming from a father of three and is in his Mid Forties so my life experiences are different. My mother is originally from Georgia and she is in her early Eighties so I was raised by an old fashion southern lady.

    I have had two different profiles, same photo of me, one on Match and the other on POF. Match does tend to have a larger percentage of higher educated women. I have also swapped the profiles. What I have found is I get what I disclose about myself.

    There are certain life experiences that have left you with strong opinions. The only people who can truly appreciate those experiences are people that have experienced them also. So if you dont want to compromise, hint at it and they will pick it up

    My ex was a serial cheater 5 months after our last child was born. I don’t disclose that however I do state that I never cheated, I don’t want anyone that cheated, and i wont cheat because I know what it is like and I refuse to do that someone else. I get responses from women who that is important to and others will stay away for many reasons.. Better for me.

    I describe how my mother raised me. Yes I will always hold the door, walk on the traffic side, wrap you in my blazer when you are cold and kiss you on the forehead. A gentlemen is always kind, considerate, generous, and never brags, etc.There will be no doubt that I am proud to be with you in public, etc.

    i stay away from the woman who say they have to work out almost everyday, their career is super important, her friends are super important. Where will I fit in. Great, she is hot, likes to party and I will get to have sex with her but there is almost no chance she will ever make love to me. Let the meat head have her.

    What I get from yours is that you
    like to work out a lot
    you are a sports nut
    you are educated
    you are creative.
    you want to have children

    Those are two completely different guys. How many smart , creative, meatheads who want to have children live in New York.
    The Meat head is going to think he is not smart enough. Thank God he probably should not be allowed to breed anyway or cant because of the roids.

    You are creative and have a romantic soul. The sound of your nephews feet as they run down the hall. Kiddo, That is what touches your soul. You have to have someone that appreciates that sound or you could me doomed to marry someone like I did.

    you are looking for an educated, creative, romantic man that likes the sounds that small children make. He should take care of himself but not be a gym rat narcissist.

    i read between the lines but I have experience. It is those experiences that make US beautiful. It is that experience of those small children running to greet you that is beautiful. Move to STL and I would be lucky to make you my Princess but I would have to be your King. Good Luck.

  5. Ok. Here goes.
    Stop sending emails to guys. I have NEVER responded to a woman’s wink or email. As progressive as we all believe ourselves to be, it’s up to the guy to make the first move. Roll your eyes if you like, it’s true.
    Shorten your profile. What you have is witty and interesting. Guys don’t care if you are witty in your profile. Not that we are all shallow oafs, but this is about marketing. Get over the idea that your profile is going to convey who you really are and all the subtleties of you personality. It isn’t. Just say a little about yourself and what kid of guy you are looking for. That’s it. Guys have to send out dozens and dozens of emails in order to get a few responses. We aren’t going to take the time to do more than scan your profile to decide if we want to contact you.

    I only see one picture, and it’s one with you wearing a flannel shirt? It looks like you borrowed it from your brother’s closet. You need at least three or four pictures. I suggest at least one of your smiling face and one that shows off your figure in a nice dress and heels. Guys are visual and we want to be able to see if we think you are attractive. There is someone for everyone so show us what you look like and don’t worry about whether you think you are attractive. Don’t post pictures of your pets, nature scenes, your cleavage, you doing shots with your girlfriends, pictures of you next to any other woman who is hotter than you, pictures of you with your ex’s face cut out or blacked out, and any picture of you from 50 feet away covered in mud.

    The point of your profile is to spark some interest. Save the witty banter for your first date. You have to get emails, which turn into first dates, which turn into second dates. You have a cute face and a nice smile, use them to spark some interest. I know it might feel a little superficial to emphasis your pictures over your profile. Do you honestly think that at a party, or social gathering a guy looks at you from across the room and thinks to himself “I’ll bet she really has a good handle on sentence structure”? In a perfect word, maybe. In the real world he just sees an attractive woman he wants to find out more about.

    Good luck.

  6. There’s nothing wrong with you or your photo.

    The only problem is that you’ve been messaging little pussies who get intimidated by a woman with obvious intelligence and straight forwardness. Go outside and feel free to approach anyone who gives you that tingle and do it the way you really are, because YOU are fucking awesome. The right dude will dig it.

    That first move bs is to the birds, your grandpa teach you that shit? The fuck do you care about a flannel shirt anyway Jim – your advice sucks.

    St Lou there’s no such thing as a serial cheater – they’re called whores but reading that shit made me want to throw up. Save that crap for a hallmark card. Women don’t need an asshole all the time but they also don’t need another dad either – truthfully she’ll get tired of it before you do and if she doesn’t enjoy your shitty life as her emotional tampon and personal asswhiper.

    MJS is a good example of a normal human being.

  7. I have to agree with Rich on this one. I see nothing wrong with your profile pic nor anything wrong with your text. I also agree that there is nothing wrong with women making the first move. I read your update posted on 2/ 21/2014. Just continue like you already do to make a reference or two to something on their profile that you have in common or are curious about. Not many people want to reply to a simple “Hi” or “What’s up?”.

    To me you sound like a great catch. I myself look for someone with intelligence and a witty sense of humor. However I am not in your profile’s target audience. I am a recent college grad in my low twenties, I’m from and live in a small town in the Midwest, and I’m looking for an actual relationship not a hookup. Different demographics could be looking for different things.

    I know how frustrating it can be when you message several prospects but none work out. I haven’t had much success with Match.com or any other online dating sites. I’ve messaged about 15 women with similar results. It’s apparently all about timing and numbers. If you give up on online dating though, you’ll lose a useful tool for your dating arsenal. Quitting is for quitters, and you don’t sound like a quitter. Stay classy.

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