This time it’s from Meredith in Morristown, and though it doesn’t really fit the “online first date” part per se, it definitely fits the “horror story” part. Looks like someone should’ve asked Santa to bring him a new conscience for Christmas this year…
Mike, the Con Artist: “So I met this guy through a popular online dating site that shall go unnamed. We were talking for a few weeks, then we met in person several times, and things were going great. I considered us “dating” at this point, since it had been almost two months, and he’d stayed at my place several times.
One night after dinner when he was dropping me off at my apartment, one of my neighbors was in the lobby, noticed him in his car and recognized him. When I walked by, he said, ‘Oh, how do you know Craig (last name omitted)?’ Confused I said I didn’t, and who’s Craig?
My neighbor informed me that the guy who’s car I’d just gotten out of was, indeed, named Craig So-and-So, and that he’d gone to school with him, was in the same fraternity, and had even worked at his first job together years ago. I told him that no, this guy’s name was Mike and that we were dating. ‘That’s weird,’ he said, ‘we lost touch but I’d heard he’d gotten married. I guess he got a divorce?’ By the look on his face I assume the last part was an attempt to untangle himself from the mess he realized he’d just revealed.
Fast forward to me Googling him (his Craig name, that is) and finding his LinkedIn profile, where he worked at the same company that “Mike” told me he worked. He’d said that he didn’t have a Facebook profile, but when I put his real name into the search bar, voila! Craig (retracted) was on there, and so was a picture with his wife of 5 years AND THEIR TODDLER SON.
Are you f**king kidding me? I stewed over what to do for a few days, dodged his calls in the meantime, and then just decided to call him back and confront him about it. When he picked up his phone, I calmly said, ‘Hey Craig.’
He knew he was busted, and when I told him I also knew about his wife and child, he said it was more complicated than I thought, they were having problems, blah blah. But he begged me to talk about this later and was speaking in a frantic, hushed voice. I asked why, and he said he was at his child’s school picking him up. I lost it.
We never spoke again, but when I checked a few days later, his profile was still up. So my friend shot him an email (she was on the same site) that read, ‘How’s your wife?’ and within hours he’d pulled his page down. And that, as they say, is that.”
Meredith: Whoa. You win the award for “most shameless use of an online dating profile” so far. A – - hole doesn’t even cover it, they need to invent a new insult for guys like him. This is usually the part where I make witty-slash-irreverent observations about people’s stories, but this one’s just straight up not funny. Seriously, what the hell is wrong with people?
Even scarier to me is that yours is the second story like this that I’ve heard recently. So I don’t know what’s worse, that this D-bag exists, or that he could start a club? Either way, I’m glad he pulled his profile down, and good for you for trying to out him (albeit via threats, whatevs). I have to wonder, though, if his wife was really pregnant or if he just used that to silence you?
I guess the moral of this story, if you can even try to find a silver lining here, is that you found out sooner rather than later. Better to be the one who outs the scumbag than the one married to the scumbag. Oh, and also, don’t trust anyone without a Facebook profile. Sometimes e-stalking is a good thing.
Here’s hoping that his son doesn’t turn out like his daddy, and for better dating luck for you this year. Don’t let someone’s complete lack of a moral compass discourage you from being open to finding love. It’s out there… it just doesn’t involve anyone with a preschooler or a wedding band. Yikes.
I’m sorry about what happened but hey, it can only go up from here, right? (God I hope so, or else I just jinxed the sh*t out of you with the universe). And for the rest of you, keep the stories coming, because as I always say, your awkward romantic run-ins are our enjoyment in the end.