Holy shit, someone just came up with the best dude invention ever. Granted, you might argue that Miss Wingman is wrong, since it involves some pain on your part to facilitate more happiness on ours (suck it up, fellas), but I disagree. This. Is. Amazing.

So what is this miracle product?

Oh, just sandpaper…for your face. FTW? Stop being a pussy, bro, and listen up. A company called The Soft Goat (I won’t even ask) just solved the skin-chafing problem caused by your razor stubble after you get up close and personal with that girl you’ve been talking to lately. You know, where she comes away from that kissing session looking like her skin just went through a cheese grater? Right. Not a good look for us.

The blotchiness-prevention trick comes in the form of a hypoallergenic foam pad layered with abrasive paper. But don’t worry, the designers spent years honing the coarseness to find just the right balance between effectively stubble-softening, and won’t rip open your skin.

By rubbing the “sandpaper” over your stubble, the prickly edges get rounded down, much like what happens when two pieces of sandpaper are rubbed together. But don’t use it on just shaved skin or attempt it on a full beard, it’s not designed to handle that – and neither are you. 

The Soft Goat

The Soft Goat

So, why sandpaper and not something less…medieval sounding? Traditional products like beard oils or conditioning agents are made to soften the longer hairs of your beard, but don’t work on stubble. Additionally, lotions and creams are no match for your 5 o’clock shadow, however it’s been groomed. Just keep the lotion in your nightstand where it belongs, boys.

Kidding. Definitely don’t do that.

The scruff and goatee softener comes in a box of three and retails for $11.99 – a small price to pay for the gratitude she’ll feel when she can makeout with you without looking like she just ate shellfish and broke into hives. Consider this payback for all of the “Beauty is pain” rituals we put ourselves through for your benefit, gentlemen. And hey, if you (don’t) scratch our backs, we might be more inclined to scratch yours.DAPPER WINGMAN

Facebook Twitter


First things first – despite the ambiguous title, this is NOT a post about Game 4. Though if you’re Westbrook, you can’t seem to beat the Heat, either. (Zing! Had to, it was too easy). And this is coming from an OKC supporter, sadly. But I digress.

Ahem…where was I?

Wouldn’t it be great if summertime meant refreshing dips in the pool, breezy sail boat rides and being fanned on the beach by people with giant palm tree leaves?

(*Insert record scratch noise here*) Right. Well that’s not the world we live in, hate to burst your bubble. But, even though the official kick off of summer sometimes carries with it sticky, punishing days like today, it doesn’t mean you can’t rise above the heat. Have no fear – Miss Wingman has compiled the Top 3 Ways To Stay Cool This Summer. So peel yourself off your chair, crank the AC and grab a pencil, ’cause you might want to take notes, gentlemen.

Wingman Wipes: No, I did not make this up, but based on the name how could I NOT include this on the list? Also, this invention should be mandatory for all men in the greater New York City area…and beyond.

What are they? They’re dude-friendly wipes infused with aloe, ginseng and peppermint that you use to clean off the grime of your day before leaving the office, heading out for a date, or when things just get downright swampy. Obviously a shower is the preferred clean up method, but these will do just fine in a pinch.

They can be used to blot your face, neck, underarms, or any place you think could use a little refresher – it’s all fair game. And no, they’re not the size of the moist (ugh!) towelette you get after eating wings, they’re larger and more durable, promise.

Available for only $4 at Grooming Lounge, these wipes are the best thing to happen to wingmen since…well, me! Stock up for the work, the gym or even the beach to banish salt and sunblock buildup – they’re totally worth the investment. Trust me, women everywhere will thank you.

If that doesn’t do the trick, try cooling down from the inside, out. Even though ball park beers and happy hour specials do a decent job of staving off the heat, do yourself one better with a Frozen Cocktail All-Star Lineup.

Photo credit: Danny Kim for NY Mag

I know what you’re thinking, fruity drinks are for chicks. Erroneous! Well, mostly erroneous at least. If you order anything pink or icy any other time of year, you might get some curious glances. But in the summer you can get away with it without having to scream “DON’T JUDGE ME!” at strangers giving you the side eye.

So if a blender is your new best friend, then you’re in luck, because the folks at Grubstreet have compiled a list of the best slushie joints in the city. That’s upscale, booze-filled slushies to be clear (though the kind you drank as a kid are still stellar, in this girl’s opinion). From coconut-infused pisco sours to frozen basil lemonades, these standout joints have covered every base. Check out as many as you can on dates or just for fun. But beware of the brain freeze, boys.

And lastly, if you can’t lower your temperature, you can at least raise the volume on your iPod and distract yourself from a sticky commute by blasting some Cool Tunes For Summer.

Some music just screams sunny days, road trips or backyard BBQ to me, so why not break those bands out when the forecast beckons? Check out the following girl-friendly summer music. And if upbeat’s not your style, there’s plenty of shoe-gazing, tortured-types on Spotify or iTunes instead.

Of Monsters And Men – Psst! All you Mumford bandwagon types? These guys are better.

Fun. -  Even though they’re massively overplayed (Thanks a lot, Glee) they were still goddamn fantastic on Aim & Ignite and now Some Nights.

Cabin By The Sea – A new one in my rotation, but nothing says “summer” like ska and reggae beats

Rodrigo y Gabriela – Because they make you feel like you should be drinking Horchata

The Black Keys – Recommended for windows-down car rides

Brett Dennen – Favored by surfers, tree-huggers and optimists of all ages.

The Beach Boys – Do I really need to explain? Two words: new album.iWINGMAN

Facebook Twitter