HOW TO SURVIVE VALENTINE’S DAY SINGLE

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Even if you’re happily single, or single by choice, or any of the other excuses we tell our moms/paired off friends/the Duane Reade check-out guy ringing up our Russell Stover’s sampler to get them to BACK THE EFF OFF, OK? I’M FINE, Valentine’s Day is still an especially heinous day to be solo.

Because seriously, even if you’re genuinely happy with your life (as Miss Wingman is, more so this year than ever), the one day on the calendar when other people’s coupledom makes us more uncomfortable than that Kim and Kanye motorcycle video can still, well, suck.

But fret not, parties of 1, as with past Valentine’s Days, I’m here to dole out more advice to help you navigate Cupid’s unusually cruel gauntlet.

Or, at least just blot it all out until you can safely wake up and it’ll be the 15th. Either way.

1. Stay off social media. Hear me? Stay the fuck off of social media. And if you’re reading this via Facebook, close it (as soon as you’re done.) Unless you like seeing 400 photos of floral arrangements and dinners with the caption “Best boyfriend/girlfriend EVER!!!!” underneath it. Or worse, the dreaded newly-adorned ring finger picture.

*Miss Wingman note: Yes, we are truly happy for you, but seeing this on Instagram makes me want to upload a digit picture of my own…only featuring a different finger.

2. Drink.

3. Treat yo’ self. All that money you’d normally be spending on a significant other today? Use it to buy yourself something nice, like a massage, that sweater you’ve been eyeing, or just some really expensive booze.

Because seriously…

4. Drink. (And eat. At all of these places.)

5. Find your fun friends. You know, the ones who’re always down for the get-down? Yeah them. Then organize a dinner, karaoke or just convince them to skip town with you for the night.

6. Find small friends. Know who’s awesome on Valentine’s Day? Kids. FaceTime your nieces, nephews or friends’ kids and let them remind you how much it rocks to be little on a sugar-centric holiday.

7. Move here. Normally, I loathe everything that comes out of the state of Georgia, but for this, I’ll make an exception.

8. Drink. Not because you’re single, but because it’s Friday.

9. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind your life. Out with the old, in with deleting your exes from Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and (gasp!) your phone. Sounds extreme? I thought so too – at first. But actually, it feels really, really good.

10. Get excited. For the possibility of who (or what)’s to come. Because you may not have everything you want in your life yet, but at least you don’t have the WRONG things. And that’s more than a lot of people can say.

11. Do something awesome. True story, I actually said these words to a friend who recently asked me about my Valentine’s Day plans: “I just want to shoot at some stuff, then get fucked up, is that bad?” As in, I wanted to hit the range and then hit the bars – but the look on her face (coupled with her “Um, I think you’re a dude” comment) told me that my taste isn’t for everyone. Point being, find something you love, whether it be hitting the slopes, live music or binge-watching Netflix, and just do it. Unapologetically, because you can.

And if those plans fall through, you can always…

12. Drink.THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID

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HOW TO DO VALENTINE’S DAY IN NYC

Sure, Valentine’s Day is about telling the person you love how you feel about them with obnoxious shows of Instagram affection and overpriced floral arrangements, but it’s also about food. As in, amazing dinners, free booze, and enough desserts to put you into a blissful sugar coma. And since that last one’s more my style, I teamed up with the always kickass NYC Foodie Finder to bring you the sweetest Valentine’s offerings the Big Apple has to offer.

ROSE DONUTS

DINNER…

Virgola: 28 Greenwich Avenue, New York, NY 10011

Get in the mood sipping oysters in this sexy West Village Oyster & Wine Bar and get extra points for the complimentary Prosecco that comes along with your reservation by using the code “NYCFOODIEFINDER” when booking your reservation in February. Even better than free bubbly? At the end of the month 5% of all of the proceeds of reservations booked with the promo code will be donated to God’s Love We Deliver. 

Tip: Bring a lock for you and your Valentine to put your initials on and hang it on the gate entering to the restaurant with the other “love locks”. Menu & reservations.

Do or Dine: 1108 Bedford Ave. Brooklyn NY 11216

A mix & match Valentine’s dinner set to the soundtrack of Andre 3000′s The Love Below. Yes, you read that right. Tip: The foie gras doughnuts (huh?!) will the seal the deal if you still need some assistance, boys. For reservations, click here.

Da Marcella: Midtown 11 W. 51st St., lower level, or Village, 142 W. Houston St. (between Macdougal and Sullivan), New York, NY

Escape the cold by nestling away in this Mediterranean-inspired taverna, at either of their two NYC locationsTip: Da Marcella’s special prix fixe dinner menu, in addition to the a la carte menu, includes a complimentary champagne toast. If free booze doesn’t warm you up, I don’t know what will. 

Louro: 142 W 10th St, New York, NY 10014

There’s nothing tragic about this menu inspired by tragic love stories throughout history, with this Valentine’s day meal from chef David Santos. Reserve Thursday 2/13- Saturday 2/15 and choose from either a tasting menu for $95, or a 3-course option for $65. Menu and reservations.

Professor Radish – Valentine’s dinner at Zucker Bakery: 433 E 9th St, New York, NY 1000

You’ll be asking Professor Radish to be your Valentine after he makes you a 6-course menu to remember at the Valentine’s edition of his weekly pop up series: dinner in a bakery at Zucker Bakery. Tip: It’s BYOB, so don’t forget the booze! Menu found here.

SWEETS…

MACROON PARLOUR

Macaron Parlour: 111 St. Marks Place between 1st Ave & Avenue A                   

The Macaron Parlour gets even sweeter with their special Valentine Hearts collection macarons available in store. Swoon.

Dough: 448 Lafayette Ave, New York, NY 11205

Lust, passion & desire. Enjoy all 3 this Valentine’s Day with Dough’s limited edition threesome of donuts. Tip: Available for pre-order. Orders must be placed by midnight 2/12. Email orders to dough.valentines@gmail.com.

Dominique Ansel: (yes, the bakery behind the Cronut)189 Spring St, New York, NY 10012

Think pink, eat pink: All of the desserts in Ansel’s pastry case turn pink for one day- Valentine’s! Also totally in love with:

DOMINIQUE ANSEL LOBSTER LINZER

Lobster Linzer- Get serious and tell The One you’re “their lobster” with this adorable raspberry jam-filled linzer cookie.

For The Record: A chocolate candy bar resembling a vintage record, made with dark chocolate and marshmallow filling.

Love Letters: Dark chocolate bars are wrapped as letters in an envelope box. Each bar filled with a layer of crispy praline wafers.

DOMINIQUE ANSEL LETTERS

*Miss Wingman note: This writer’s heart would be signed, sealed, delivered and yours if I ever got these for Valentine’s Day. Such a fun idea!

Big Gay Ice Cream: 61 Grove St,. New York, NY 10014

Better than a bouquet of roses, starting February 13th The Big Gay Ice Cream’s West Village shop is serving up their Valentine’s Sundae with Padma Lakshmi’s rose ice cream, with crushed pistachios and rose-infused whipped cream. Whoa.

Donut Plant: 379 Grand St. or 220 W. 23rd St., New York, NY
Everything’s coming up roses for the month of February, because The Donut Plant is serving up donuts with edible rose petals and rose water glaze. They’re also offering rose marshmallows, rose hot chocolate, and this Valentine’s Day, donut lovers can also fall in love with their heart-shaped donuts, available in rose or passion fruit.
AND FOR SINGLES WHO’D RATHER DRINK THAN MINGLE…
Pork Slope – After Hours: 247 5th Avenue Brooklyn NY 11215

Celebrate being single and get wild with DJs from 9PM-2AM, food from chef Dale Talde and ladies – your first drink is on the house.

Meatball Shop – The Single Jingle Mingle: Underballs at Chelsea TMS (the bar under the Chelsea Meatball shop) 200 9th Avenue 

Reyka Vodka has come up with a night full of drink specials ($2 Be Mine shots and $5 Meat Lover cocktails) and MS chef Daniel Holzman is personally DJ’ing the event. I’m not sure what a Meat Lover cocktail tastes like, but I’ll let you make your own (sexual) joke there – not even going to touch it.

So that’s the V-Day culinary rundown, Wingman faithful. If you love NYC Foodie Finder’s suggestions, make sure follow her at @NYCfoodiefinder on Twitter or Instagram. Cheers!

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