GIRL FACTS: HOLIDAY EDITION

It’s a Christmas miracle, Wingman faithful – the return of “Girl Facts.” I know how much you were hoping to find this under the tree this year, so consider me the Santa of sarcastic blog wisdom.

So far we’ve gone over secrets of our undergarments, signs we like you, how to tell if we like sports, seasonal-themed facts, and a host of others. This time around we’re dealing with holiday girl facts. Let the enlightening begin.

Girl Fact: If you give us a gift and you want to know if we REALLY like it, don’t listen to a word we say. Just watch our faces very closely in the first few seconds when we open your present. Even the best poker face will reveal some sign of an authentic reaction.

Girl Fact: We start stressing over our New Year’s Eve plans as soon as December hits. No matter if we say we don’t care about it, some part of us will have even the smallest momentary panic about what we’ll do, with whom, and where we’ll go. You can pretty much count on that.

Girl Fact: Even if we hate holiday crowds, we love that shopping for gifts gives us an added excuse to JUST SHOP. We may act exhausted, but there was a dopamine high somewhere in that credit card swipe. It’s in our DNA.

Girl Fact: If we’re not dating anyone steadily, in the winter months we’re lucky if we shave our legs once a week. Don’t judge us – we have a lot more surface area to cover than you.

Girl Fact: Even if we say we don’t care what you get us for Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa (?) or Festivus – you can bet your life that at some point we’ve dropped you a hint on what we really want. Were you paying attention?

Girl Fact: We call in reinforcements if we don’t know what to get you for a present. And we prep our own inner circle just in case you do, too.

Girl Facts: We’re fighting an uphill battle to look cute this time of year. Static hair, sniffling noses and coats that look like sleeping bags. So if we look disheveled when you see us, do yourselves a favor and don’t point it out.

Girl Fact: If you hook up with us at a holiday party and are actually interested in keeping the ball rolling, don’t wait to text or call us afterward. Sledding, ice skating, or going for hot chocolate/cider are all great winter date ideas, so pick up the phone boys.

Girl Fact: We either irrationally love Mariah Carey’s “All I Want For Christmas Is You,” or violently hate it. For your sake, here’s hoping your woman is in the latter category.THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID

And don’t forget: If you’re having trouble finding the right gift for her this year, I’m here to help. MISS WINGMAN IS AVAILABLE FOR CONSULTATIONS via phone/Skype and, geography permitting, accompanying men on their shopping excursions. I’ll make sure your gift is perfectly suited for her, for a small fee, and you just make sure to take all the credit (wink). Email me at misswingman@gmail.com for more details.

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PICK UP POINTERS: BEHOLD! YOGA CLASS.

They say good things come to those who wait. And, if you’re a diehard Miss Wingman fan, then you’ve been waiting a pretty long time for another edition of “Pick Up Pointers.” We’ve delved into the world of The Approach at the gym differently before, and also within the grocery store aisles. But this time, I suggest you put down the produce and pick up a spongy floor mat, because yoga class is where it’s at, boys.

I’ll admit, I’ve never been a fan of yoga myself, (Miss Wingman prefers to wail on a heavy bag. Namaste, my ass) but last night my sore muscles drove me into the land of trippy music and cleansing breaths. Apart from the fact that the workout itself is beneficial to everyone, if you can get past the bizarre meditations (I don’t do “zen,” apologies to my Yogi friends), there’s another obvious bonus to taking a class: The women.

Men of the world, I’m sure common sense dictates that you’ve thought of this before, but allow me to emphasize how RIDICULOUSLY STACKED those classes are with women – hot women – wearing tight clothing, and doing bendy things.

I felt euphoric, like I’d found the promised land for guys. Much like the time I found a bar overflowing with a sea of dudes watching hoops at the Garden, or stumbled upon a good after-work spot in the finance district (so that’s where you’ve all been hiding…) Hitting the mother lode is fun, especially if I can spin it in your favor.

If you don’t need any further convincing, allow me to help you navigate the proper way to approach a woman in yoga class. Here are The Do’s and Don’ts of Fitness Flirting:

Do: Hit up a class in a normal gym, not a yoga-only spot. Why? Because there’s a difference between seeming like you just want to try out this yoga thing, and appearing that you’re either A) Mr. Sensitive Ponytail Man B) blatantly creeping on women or C) of questionable sexual orientation. Regular gym yoga classes are harmless and could just have landed you there out of sheer curiosity (hey, it’s plausible enough).

Don’t: Go the Bikram yoga route (read: hot yoga). Why? Because the only thing less sexy than having your own sweat pour off of your body is having someone else’s sweat drip on you. Plus, it’s a little hard to work up your charm when you feel like you’re breathing through a cocktail straw.

Do: Wait until before or after the class to chat up any cute women you spot. They’re pretty serious about the whole silence/mood music/soothing lighting thing, and you wouldn’t want her to think you have no sense of self-awareness. Etiquette is key.

Don’t: Stare. Yes, many of the poses involve putting your ass in the air or spreading your legs far apart, but that doesn’t give you license to skeeve us out (Down Dog, anyone?). Be crafty in the quick glances that you steal. Kind of like how you check out our cleavage when we’re “not looking.” Remember – eyes on your own paper, boys.

Do: Casually establish why you’re in the class in the first place, if you feel self-conscious about it. Asking the girl on the next mat over if she likes the workout because you “have this sports injury in my back that I’m trying to fix, and someone suggested trying yoga,” isn’t a bad idea. Sure, it’s lying, but it’s the little white kind. You have my permission.

Don’t: Be too good at it. If we wanted to date a guy who was Gumby-flexible or could hold a difficult pose indefinitely, we’d date a principal dancer in the New York City Ballet. There’s a difference between being open-minded enough to try yoga, and chipping away at your masculinity. Walk that line at your own risk.

Do: Be adorably clumsy – which probably won’t be intentional. You’ll likely have a hard time with yoga at first anyway. Watching the few guys in the class around me struggle to keep their balance was endearing, actually. And it gives you a good excuse to chat a girl up afterward if you catch her chuckling.

Asking for pointers or making a joke about how much your skills are lacking is a harmless way to get our attention. Just don’t ask her if she can do that thing with her legs in other places, too – unless you want to hear her tell you to “Nama-stay away.”  Far less amusing, boys.

Also, Do: Take care of your feet. Yoga involves being barefoot, and nothing will kill your game faster than if she looks over and sees your mangled, gnarly man-hooves. You don’t have to go full pedicure, but for the love of God at least trim the nails.

And finally, Don’t: Be afraid to say nothing at all. If you can tolerate a few weeks of going to the same class (you might actually like it), you’ll develop enough of a rapport or familiarity with the people in it to strike up a conversation with them elsewhere. If you’re too shy or just don’t feel confident that you’ll say the right thing, try just putting your mat in close proximity to hers for a few classes, so she gets to recognize your face.

But be mindful of personal space, don’t crowd the poor girl. Then, if you want to chat her up at the water fountain or arrange an “accidental” run in arriving at or leaving the gym, you can use the “Hey aren’t you in that yoga class?” line without sounding like a D-bag. It’s a slow strategy, but still effective.

But all of this is to say that it should, theoretically, offer you the opportunity to showcase your personality and allow her the chance to get to know you. Once you’ve got our attention, it’s up to you to be yourself (which is charming, I assume) and let things play out naturally. Pick up tactics only work if they’re only used to get your foot in the door, not to guide the whole process.

So go ahead – bust out your best spandex (please don’t), take some deep breaths, and don’t forget to limber up, boys. If you do this right and get lucky, you just might need it.THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID

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NERD-STALGIA: HMM…BOOKS? NEVER HEARD OF ‘EM.

Is nothing sacred anymore? After hearing yesterday’s shocking news that the folks at Encyclopedia Britannica will be ending their print edition (insert sad trombone noise here), I was struck by two things. First, the overwhelming nostalgia-slash-am-I-getting-that-old? sense that settles in when we realize something in our lifetime has come and gone already. Secondly, I, like most other people, wondered out loud, “Wait, they were still making those?!” Whoa. Mind Blown.

But, much like other things that confound (why do they still print phone books? does anybody ever really use payphones anymore? and on and on), one thing was pretty clear. Women – at least this woman – loves books, bookshelves, and guys who own them.

No, you don’t need to go out and buy a monocle and start wearing elbow patches, but guys who read – and keep – books are charming in an old fashioned way. So, the only acceptable thing to do now is to highlight some of the volumes that would impress us if we were ever to walk into your apartment and find that glorious piece of furniture known as the bookshelf. Hey, you can tell a lot about a man from what he reads (or doesn’t). And if you own these, you’re already ahead of the game.

The Classics - I don’t mean this in a run-out-and-buy-every-leather-bound-edition-by Fitzgerald-Tolstoy-Twain-or-Hemingway” kind of way. I just mean that, if you happen to have kept your high school edition of “Catcher in the Rye,” tattered pages and all, that’s kind of endearing. Sadly, Cliffs Notes don’t have the same effect, sorry boys.

Biographies - Whether it’s about Steve Jobs, Keith Richards, or Abraham Lincoln (bet you’d never see those three next to each other in a sentence), reading about other people’s lives is fascinating. Just as long as it’s not the biography of Osama bin Laden or Hitler. Those are less charming.

Interests/Hobbies - If we see a few titles about mountain biking, shipwrecks, punk rock pioneers or even green architecture, it’s a good sign. It means that your life isn’t just about work. Women love a well-rounded man, in the mind, not the midsection.

Nostalgia - There is nothing sexier than a man who hung onto a book that he used to read with his parents, or to that faded copy of “The Giving Tree” or “Peter Pan” from childhood. *Miss Wingman note: This is not to be confused with actually being a Peter Pan, we find enough guys with that syndrome on our own, thankyouverymuch.

Sports - Whether you read about legendary surfers, the Ali/Frazier rivalry or Murderers’ Row, books about sports are awesome. So much so that sometimes even girls read them, too. Just don’t own anything about cockfighting or elephant tusk poaching, that’s a little too intense for most of us.

Think Pieces - Whether it’s oft-read titles like “The Tipping Point,” “Outliers” or even “Freakonomics,” books that get your mind going are a solid choice. Both for displaying and for actually reading, should you be so inclined. I’m not saying to shun fiction, I’m just saying that sometimes examining how and why we think a certain way is sexy. In more ways than one.

And that’s about it. Obviously it’s not a complete list, you can add your own personal favorites like that riveting Tucker Max compilation (I own his books, I can make fun), or political manifestos like “Game Change.” (Nothing by Sarah Palin, obviously). Or even photography books if that’s what you’re into – not to be confused with picture books. It would be nice if you had more than a third grade reading comprehension level.

But whatever pages you prefer to peruse, sometimes it’s best to ditch the e-readers and go old school. Even if you didn’t jump on the encyclopedia bandwagon before it was too late, you can still impress us with your book smarts. Just remember, you shouldn’t judge a book by it’s cover, but women can’t promise to always say the same in return.GEEK WINGMAN

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CHOICES, CHOICES: SELECTION WINGMAN

Maybe it’s because Selection Sunday just passed and we’re staring down the greatest three weeks of the whole year (for basketball fans at least). Or maybe it’s because the season finale of “The Bachelor” is on tonight – equally enthralling drama, but with slightly more tears than post-game upsets. But either way, the idea of selection has been on my mind lately, and now’s as good a time as any to discuss it.

From deciding which teams to favor in your bracket, to choosing between the hot-but-insane girl and the wife material girl, decisions are all around you. So what’s a guy to do? Though matters of the heart are slightly different than college hoops, the bottom line is the same: Go entirely on instinct.

But what do you do when your head and your heart are on different pages? In that case, I suggest letting your gut make the deciding vote.

I read this article a while back, written by what I could only assume was a Birkenstock-wearing, man-hating feminist, and I remember seeing red. The writer basically tells women that we should settle for Mr. Good Enough in our late 20s and 30s, or else risk ending up alone in our 40s like her and her fellow artificially inseminated friends. Thanks for using your spinsterhood to scare single women out there, Lori. Remind me to NOT join your fan club. (*Miss Wingman note: Men, if you’ve ever wondered why your girlfriend was checking her watch and tapping her foot trying to pressure you into putting a ring on it, blame this chick. I swear she’s incited more fear in females than Jason and Freddy Krueger combined).

But even though I still largely disagree with most of the points she makes – which is why I wrote this in opposition to the argument for settling – she does say one thing that I agree with, and it applies to men as well: What makes for a good romantic relationship isn’t necessarily the same qualities that make for a good marriage. Perhaps the best teammate isn’t someone that you initially envisioned, but you need to look for more than just passion when you’re thinking long term.

I’m not advocating choosing a woman who looks like a mutant just because she has good mother material written all over her. As I’ve said before, you still need to feel some chemistry – sex is important. I’m just saying that, as that  Atlantic writer pointed out, sometimes the partner who will watch the kids so that you can eat lunch for 20 minutes, or who will stand by you if you lose a job or a loved one is the one you want around for the long haul – even if you wouldn’t cross a crowded bar to hit on them at first glance.

Obviously the goal is to find a woman who is the total package – intelligent, funny (or at least fun-loving), a great spouse/mother and who also has a killer face and set (of legs, breasts, whatever you’re into). But all I’m saying is that, if you’re really keeping an eye on the long term, pay as much attention to the size of a woman’s heart as to the size of her bra. It’s easy to get distracted by surface level things. But as the years unfold, so do the layers, and it’s the stuff underneath that we should consider most.

Of course, people change, so if you make a mistake in your selection process, just make sure you learn from it. It’s not like you’ll end up like the guy in “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade” who doesn’t “choose wisely.” You can redeem yourself if you really try.

Likewise, don’t count out the lesser-seeded team any more than you should count out the dark horse woman. Sometimes having a lot of solid players is better than having a few flashy stars when it comes to making it to the end (sorry, Kentucky). Same goes for relationship fundamentals. If you don’t believe me, just ask the Cinderella teams; they capture our attention every year.

Just remember that what we think we want isn’t always what works best in the end. From brackets to choosing your better half, believe anything can happen. It really is anybody’s game.THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID

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ONLINE DATING HORROR STORY OF THE WEEK: DEJA VU

When I started this feature, I had no idea how many of you would be eager to throw your hats into the, “Oh you think that’s bad? Listen to this!” ring. But it’s a pretty full arena, to say the least. We’ve already heard about dates that involve third parties, fetishes, bodily functions and even blood relatives (remind me not to take any dating tips from you guys, by the way).

This week’s tale isn’t actually about online dating per say, but in a roundabout way still relates back to the topic. Stick with me, you’ll understand. It comes courtesy of Alex in Manhattan – female Alex, that is. Her story is short and sweet, but too good not to share. Drum roll please…

Dennis, the sales rep: I met Dennis through a friend of a friend (coworker, actually). My friend was having a birthday party, so a lot of people in our extended social circle were there, among them a guy named Dennis. When he approached me at the party I thought he was really good looking, but that’s not why I couldn’t stop staring at him. I should’ve actually said, “met AGAIN,” for accuracy’s sake. But I’m jumping ahead…

He flirted heavily, and when he asked me my name I searched his face for a flicker of recognition – nothing. Did I mention that I knew almost instantly that I’d not only gone out with this guy before, but we’d slept together? Yeah, nice to see you again buddy. Thanks for making me feel special.

He continued to try to be charming, and I didn’t let on that I knew who he was. He finally suggested after about 15 minutes of chatting that we should go out, and that he’d love to take me on a date. PS, after we’d hung out the last time he just did the fall-off-the-face-of-the-earth move that guys are notorious for, so I wasn’t exactly lining up for an encore. I played along for a little while, but the more drunk and overconfident he seemed, the more I just wanted to put him in his place.

Finally, after listening to him tell me what he did for a living (I remembered already, since we’d initially met on an online dating site, therefore had exchanged these pleasantries and biographical information already), I interjected. ‘I’m sorry,’ I said, ‘but I just need to interrupt you for a minute. Actually, on second thought, I don’t think a date is a good idea.’ He stared at me dumbfounded.

‘I don’t think it’s a good idea,’ I continued, ‘because if memory serves you didn’t have such great equipment to work with, and also your apartment smelled like a cat. Not only do I hate when guys have cats (*Miss Wingman note: I couldn’t agree more), but I really hate guys who sleep with so many women that they don’t even remember one of them when they’re looking them in the face.’ Now he was not only staring, but his mouth dropped open and he was turning red.

‘So yeah, I think I’ll skip the repeat performance, since you clearly found it as memorable as I did,’ I said. ‘Thanks for reminding me what I’m NOT missing. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go chat up someone who hasn’t seen me naked with no recollection of it. ‘Night.’ And then I walked away. Men of NYC, I implore you: If you’re going to sleep your way through this city, at least try and remember your conquests, thanks.”

Alex: How very gangsta of you, if a little bit angry and harsh (but can’t blame you). A few things here – first, I’m sorry, I just can’t get past the fact that his name was Dennis. I keep having visions of Mr. Belding when I hear this story, make it stop. Secondly: remind me not to get on your bad side. But thanks for the laugh. And finally, to the men out there: I’ll emphasize her last point about remembering your conquests. Not only is it in poor taste to forget, but do it for your own peace of mind. You never know when ghosts from your past will come walking into your life again…and your bar.THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID

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I’M JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU: HOW TO HAVE ‘THE CONVERSATION’

Ain’t love grand? You can’t stop thinking about someone, you smile uncontrollably – it’s an all-consuming affair. With Valentine’s Day upon us tomorrow, mushy displays of affection abound. But what if the person you’re with doesn’t conjure such gooey, lovey dovey feelings? In fact, what if you’d just as soon take them or leave them? Yikes. Sounds like you’ve got a case of the “Eh-You’re-Cool-But-I’m-Kinda-Indifferent-About-You’s.” Sucks to be them.

A telltale sign that you fall into this category might be that, for instance, if they called you and asked if you wanted to hang out and you were home on your couch doing nothing, you’d still prefer that over motivating to see them. Ouch.

So what do you do if this predicament describes you? You’ve got a choice. You can either ignore it and hope that your girlfriend (or boyfriend) doesn’t notice that you’ve emotionally checked out, or you can have “the Conversation.” (Insert ‘dun dun dunnnn’ music here for dramatic effect).

In all honesty though, who wants to have that conversation? Not this girl. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t the necessary – and courteous – thing to do. How do you tell someone that they like you more than you like them? Do you just say, “You’re cool and all but I’m just doing this for now, because it’s there (read: it’s convenient to be getting laid regularly)?” Or say, “I don’t consider you my girlfriend, in fact most days I don’t consider you at all?” Neither would go over well, for obvious reasons.

Or you can take the more mathematical approach and say, “On a scale of 1 to 10, my interest in you hovers at a solid 4. OK fine, it’s a 5. Six! Six, I meant six, please stop crying.” Or else try, “You know how when you’re really into someone, you get butterflies and miss them when they’re not around? Riiiight, I don’t feel that way about you at all. Not even a little.”

Face it, there’s no easy way to tell someone this, because you know it’s going to hurt to hear. This is why people avoid having that conversation like the plague. Like. The. Plague.

In some instances, the person you’re with will force the issue by asking you outright to DTR (Define The Relationship, in case you’re not a seventh grader like I am). In that case, you can take their lead and hope for the best. This is the preferred method, since it just requires that you not lie to them, and not that you initiate.

But, if your insignificant other never calls you out on it, how do you make it clear that the scales are unbalanced? Try the, “I think we’re looking for different things,” route. This is the safest route, in my opinion. Then explain that you don’t really want to be in a relationship – and hope she doesn’t hate you when she finds out you found someone better a week later and you’ve wifed up already.

You can take the brutally honest route and say, “Is it wrong that when I’m with you, I’m secretly scanning over top of your head to see if someone better comes along? Also, if given the choice between hanging out with you or a cheese sandwich and a Family Guy rerun, you’d lose the face off. Sorry.” I probably wouldn’t recommend that, though.

Either way, even if you can’t see yourself ending up with this person, hopefully you’ll have some compassion and consideration for their feelings. In which case, you should A) try to break it to them lightly that they should manage their expectations of you, and then B) expect that they’ll probably bolt after that conversation. It’d take a case of grievously wounded self esteem for someone to stick around after that – either that or you’re just too good in bed to give up on. Ha, who are we kidding? The former is more likely.

I kid, I kid. But if you want to move forward and find someone who actually makes you  happy, you need to suck it up and just tear the band-aid off swiftly. It might make for a seriously uncomfortable few minutes, but in the end it’s the right thing to do – for both of you. Good luck, god speed, and don’t forget to warm up the getaway car.THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID

Don’t forget to tune into Sirius’s WakeUp! With Taylor on February 14th at 8:40 a.m. Eastern to hear more of Miss Wingman’s Valentine’s Day musings, or just check out USA Today (print copy or website) for a Miss Wingman Op-ed. Don’t have Sirius? Get a free trial subscription here.

Are you following Miss Wingman on Twitter and Facebook? What better way to say “I like you” this Valentine’s Day? Hit up @misswingman or facebook.com/misswingman. I also take requests, email misswingman@gmail.com. Get involved!

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NETIQUETTE NO NO’S: THINGS WOMEN DON’T WANT TO SEE ON FACEBOOK

Let’s face it, social networking is the best thing to happen to guys trying to get lucky since the invention of…well…women, frankly. With just a few keystrokes you have a bevvy of beautiful women who you either want to get to know, already know, or never knew you wanted to sleep with until now. It’s a world of possibility at your fingertips – literally.

But, just as social networking sites like Facebook work in your favor, they can also work against you if you don’t know what to avoid (sorry, blame Zuckerberg). Whether it’s you who’s engaging in marks of bad behavior or your friends/past relations working against you, it doesn’t really matter – it’s all filed under the heading “game killer” in the end. As I’ve said before, women have a tendency to e-stalk, so if she unearths any of the following on your profile, don’t be surprised if she starts running for the virtual hills.

Cringe-Worthy Photos: There are so many things that fall under this category, I hardly know where to begin. Oh no wait – yes I do – with anything that involves vomit, bodily functions, shotgunning/funneling beer over the age of 25, shirtless poses in bathroom mirrors or photos of you flexing in any way, shape or form. What this tells us? You’re either still pretty immature, don’t realize that you’re a narcissist, or that you have no understanding of/concern for the Internet and all that lives on it. And this is coming from a girl who’s own male friends’ immature behavior is a source of much entertainment. I may laugh, I just won’t date you. Also, I don’t care if you have The Situation’s abs, put a shirt on please.

Debbie Downer Status Updates: No one likes a person who’s negative all the time, and this goes double for Facebook. Are you constantly complaining about your life? Do you let little, fickle things get to you or love unleashing your rage to your social network? Lighten up, man. Glass half full is way sexier. I guarantee you that if you’re the All Misery All The Time Network, we’ll want to change the channel. Fast.

Friend Poaching: Under no circumstances is it acceptable for you to reach out to people on our lists and friend request total strangers. If you know our friends, that’s one thing (but still dicey, only add them if you’re certain you’re close enough for it not to be weird). Otherwise it just looks like you’re either A) potentially trying to get with our friends if it doesn’t work out B) trying to keep tabs on us and who we’re out with or C) just a social-climbing opportunist – but that one’s primarily for girls, it rarely goes the other way.

A Visible Imprint of Your Ex: Guys who keep pictures of their ex on their Facebook are a huge red flag for us. It’s understandable if you’ve just recently broken up and she was a large part of your life for an extended time, and you haven’t had a chance to pull them down yet. But once that time is up, if you want to move on and have a fighting chance with new girls, you should probably ditch the vacation shots, arm around each other photos or anything that screams that you used to sleep with another woman. Just a suggestion.

Any Women Who Like To “Hover” On Your Page: As I’ve also said before, women have a tendency to mark their territory by writing on your Facebook wall and other such stupid acts of possessiveness. It’s not terribly mature, but it’s common practice – and it’s meant to ward off other females. By constantly “Like”-ing your photos, commenting on your status updates or posting things on your wall like it’s her own personal doodle pad, women are trying to establish themselves as a formidable presence in your life, even if you don’t feel the same way. These actions are off-putting to normal girls, who will likely bow out before trying to engage in competition for your affection. Sad but true.

And finally, Annoying Relationship Blasts Of Any Kind: This usually applies to guys who fall hard for girls way too easily and then have things like the following written on their pages: “In a relationship” as their status after one or two dates, photos of them wearing matching sports gear with a girl at a game, references to having “the best girlfriend in the whole world,” etc., etc., gag. Also falling in this category are things written by a female you may or may not be formally dating, like “Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii” or “Miss youuuu!!” or “Can’t wait to see you,” “Awwwww, you look so cute in this pic!” or anything that emasculates you publicly. Also, it will have us thinking that if you could ever have been attracted to such a complete tool (if girls can even be called that, which I believe they can) then there’s no way you belong with us, we’re better off.

I know some of this sounds harsh, but it’s for your own good, men. If Miss Wingman is all about creating opportunities to showcase to us how great you are, then committing the sins on this list only make you get in your own way. A Facebook faux pas may not seem like a big deal, but it doesn’t help you out, either. Just remember these reminders when you sign on, or else the next time you may find the ladies logging on and losing interest.ETIQUETTE WINGMAN

*And yes, before you point it out, the quality on this clip is bootleg, at best. Sometimes Youtube videos are pretty hoopty. Sigh…

 

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