GIRL FACTS: SUMMER EDITION

It’s been a minute since last we delved into the pool of Girl Facts, Wingman faithful. And now that Mother Nature is finally cooperating, it’s time to celebrate a whole new set of female quirks, nuances and minutiae of the warmer weather variety. So sit back, slap on some sunscreen and enjoy.

Girl Fact: Even when the mercury rises, we still have a tendency to get cold at the drop of a hat. This causes most of us to keep an “office sweater” on the back of our chair or require a blanket when sitting anywhere from our own couch to a backyard Adirondack chair. Don’t expect this to ever change because we’re girls, it’s just what we do.

Girl Fact: Beach bonfires and boat rides are our favorite things this time of year. This may cause us to try to increase the number of friends we have who own boats, summer houses, or modes of transportation from May-August. If you fit the bill and suddenly we stalk you every weekend, now you know why.

Girl Fact: Nail polish is an art form. Thus, we take great pleasure in painting our toes all manner of fun colors to spice up our new sandals. We don’t question your love of ball scratching, please don’t question our love of pedicures.

Girl Fact: Bikinis are both a method of anxiety, and our greatest power over you. And don’t think we don’t know it.

Girl Fact: No female has ever uttered the words, “I wish I were less tan. Pale looks great on me.” So, please bear with us as we soak up every ray of sun possible, and lay on chaise lounges for hours like a corpse. You may not like the boredom, but you’ll love our tan lines, promise.

Girl Fact: Our alcohol intake, propensity to hit ball parks & barbecues, and desire to have mindless flings all increase this time of year. That means your chances of getting lucky increase, too.

Girl Fact: Two things guys neglect can repel us in warm weather: Dudes who smell like sweat, and having gnarly toe nails. Please use generous amounts of deodorant, and clean up your feet before donning sandals in public. Or else it could be a lonely stretch until Labor Day, boys.THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID

Facebook Twitter