If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a thousand times: it’s easy to blow it via text.

On the one hand, texting should work in your favor. Guys with Average Joe looks but who have above average wit can make themselves more attractive during these digital dalliances. But on the flip side, guys who were otherwise attractive-slash-marginally-well-spoken can shoot themselves in the foot if they exhibit less than stellar text etiquette.

It’s a Catch-22 if you don’t know how to play it.

Face it, texting isn’t going anywhere any time soon. It’s the sole form of communication for singles, and in an age when actually (gasp!) calling someone is considered borderline stalker behavior, you need your cell game to be on point, gentlemen.

So as a tandem argument to the no body part photos and no emojis rule (Seriously, are you a 12-year-old girl? No? Then cut it out with the smiley faces), allow Miss WIngman to offer up one more caveat: the two week rule. That’s right, 14 days – give or take – is all you have to hold our attention before we assume you’re indifferent about us. Anything longer and we’ll think you have better offers on the table.

If you’ve been texting a girl for two weeks since meeting her and you still haven’t played the “So when can I see you again?” card, you may be dead where you stand. Barring any extenuating work/family/travel circumstances, that is. Make plans to hang out, or just. stop. texting.

Why? Because back and forth banter has a shelf life, bro. If we wanted a f**king pen pal, we’d still be exchanging letters with Suki, our Japanese exchange student from 4th grade. If she wasn’t willing to go out with you, she wouldn’t have responded to your texts. In fact, she’s probably waiting for you to pull the trigger. A telltale sign of digits offered up out of politeness or guilt would be radio silence after you reach out, so don’t sweat it.

And finally, the lengthy breaks that typically accompany this type of lazy exchange make it hard to remember what we were even talking about to begin with (Scrolling all the way up? Bitch please.) I’ve had easier to follow conversations with my 3-year-old nephew, and he speaks like an ESL student most of the time. So if you don’t want to send the message that you’re luke warm about her, take some initiative, man. She may or may not be as cute/normal/fun as you remember, but there’s only one way to find out.ETIQUETTE WINGMAN

Facebook Twitter